I Left My Brains in Knoxville

Okay kids, today’s lesson: Always have a spare key on your person!

Before I got to Memphis, I stopped in Oakland to visit my friend Erin and her baby (after crawling along the interstate for an hour due to some sort of fire/explosion involving a semi). We had a great visit, Bethany is adorable, and I wanted a baby until Bethany started to get fussy. It’s always nice being able to give the baby back when she needs changed. Hehe. Anywho, I left Erin’s around 3:30 to head home, but I stopped to get gas first at a BP in Oakland. Before I continue, I must explain that whoever installed the remote start in my car configured my locks to lock automatically a few seconds after the engine starts, and today I had taken my keys out of the ignition and then realized that I had left my windows down, so I stuck my keys back in to put the windows up, and left them in the ignition. Then I got out, went to the pump, and started filling up my tank. Sometime in between my getting out of the car and filling up, my doors locked. All of them. I tried all of them multiple times, refusing to believe that I had done something so asinine. I have no other explanation for what happened. (Incidentally, this is not the first time I’ve done something like this. One time I left my keys in the ignition, with the car running, and was just going to have a merry old time in Target until my friend pointed out that my car was still on. My parents had to drive up to Target with the spare key. Fun times.)

So anyway, I go inside and ask the guy at the counter if he happens to know how to pop a lock. He says no (not surprisingly), and I can’t even use my cell to call anyone because it’s in my car with everything else, nor do I have any change to use a pay phone. Fortunately, he lets me use the store’s phone, so I call my mom and open with the words, “I’m a moron.” After I tell her what happened, she says she’ll just drive out there with the spare key, but unfortunately my parents no longer have a spare key to my car because the remote starter required that a key be permanently placed somewhere in the engine. (I think it works slightly different than how I just described it, but who cares? It’s no good to me sitting in my engine, that’s all I know.) So basically I had no easy way of getting into my car, so mom said I should call AAA, and I said I would but my card is in the car. So she tries to find hers, and then she’s going to read the number to me, but I remind her that I have nothing on me, not even a pen, so she calls AAA. Meanwhile, I’m hanging out in this BP, in a small town where everyone knows everyone else. (The guy at the counter greeted everyone who entered by name. I’m sure they all thought I was a vagrant or something.)

Fortunately, I had some reading material: The West Fayette Gazette. Unfortunately, the newspaper was a whopping 6 pages, half of which were ads. I read through it anyway and entertained myself with finding all of the grammatical errors. After I found 11 I gave up because it depressed me. Is it so hard to proofread 6 pages? Even better than that were the stories, though. A new bank opened up, so that made the front page. But the big breaking news was the fact that uncooked poultry can spread germs and lead to cross-contamination. I’m glad they cleared that up for everyone because I’ve been living under a rock and didn’t know that you aren’t supposed to use the same cutting board for uncooked poultry as you do for other things. I guess you learn something new every day, huh? 🙂 In other news, some guy named something or other decided to become a NASCAR driver after a thrilling experience at Memphis Motor Sports Park. His girlfriend, who gave him the driving experience he had at the motor park, thought this was a great idea, whereas I think I would have told him to get his head examined. (The girlfriend was very enthusiastic about the idea because in her opinion, “race car drivers are hot.”)

After I finished the paper, I decided to count how many people coming into the store bought lottery tickets. Out of 28 people (including kids), 25 bought lottery tickets. One guy had some sort of instant-win ticket and got $100, but I saw most people scratch theirs off and either throw them in the trash or buy more. Smart investment, people. Way to deplete those hard-earned paychecks.

In the midst of all this I called my mom back to see what AAA had said, and she said they told her they’d be there within the hour. (She called around 3:50). So I’m thinking I might have to wait half an hour or so, and I can deal with that. The only thing that sucked is that I had to resort to picking apart the local paper and paying way too much attention to people’s lotto purchases. But slowly (and I mean sloooowly), 30 minutes turned into an hour, and an hour turned into an hour and a half. Finally, the guy came at 5:15 and had my car unlocked in a matter of minutes. It was kind of amazing, I have to say. He had this little wedge thing that he used to make a space in the lining of the window (I don’t know if that’s what it’s called, but that’s the best way I know to describe it.), and then he stuck this little pouch in the gap and pumped it full of air, and then he just stuck this metal rod down in there, moved it around, and voila! I asked him how many times a day he has to bail people out of situations like mine, and he said about 7-8 times. He said that keeps him busier than anything else, which comforted me slightly because it meant my idiocy was not unique. I wonder if locksmiths have to keep their tools locked up in the office. Otherwise, they could just steal any car they wanted, in theory. Hmm…

Anywho, I finally made it home at 6 pm, just in time for homemade salsa and hamburgers. Yummy! Then I realized that in my haste to leave this morning, I had left the clothes I was planning on wearing to the shower and on Easter Sunday lying on my bed in Knoxville. Could I be any more absentminded?! My mom suggested she take me shopping, and being a typical girl, I couldn’t turn that down, so we were able to find something for me to wear. I felt bad because I definitely didn’t need anything, but the outfit is really cute. Oh well.

I’ll close with some verses that have been on my mind as Easter approaches:

“Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” ~Romans 5:1-8

There is no greater love than His.

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