Who Am I to Question?

The following is from the beginning of a SparkPeople article:

If we had friends that treated us the way that many of us treat ourselves, they wouldn’t be our friends for very long. Imagine a friend who calls up just to complain–about you. Or an alleged buddy who quickly says “I told you so” when you screw up. Or someone who encourages you to give up instead of encouraging you to do your best.

Why do we do this? Why do we treat ourselves in such horrible ways? For some, the negative self-talk is so bad that it would literally be considered verbal abuse if coming from another person. Do any of these sound familiar? “I’m not good enough.” “I knew I’d fail.” “I can’t believe I messed it up again.” “Why can’t I be more like (fill in the blank)?” “I don’t deserve to be happy.” If someone said these things to you, imagine the impact it would have on your confidence.

Those 2 paragraphs really resonated with me, and I think there is a lot of truth to the idea that we rarely subject others to the same level of abuse to which we subject ourselves. I am constantly saying things like, “I am so stupid” or “I can’t believe I did that,” or “What is wrong with me?” and yet I would never dream of talking to someone else like that! And I don’t think this concept of self-hatred is just some kind of pop psychology; it has theological roots. If I am profoundly dissatisfied with myself, that dissatisfaction stems from distrust in God’s perfect wisdom and design. His Word tells me I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), and He takes great delight in me and rejoices over me with singing (Zephaniah 3:17). Those are powerful words, friends! God rejoices over His children! He DELIGHTS in me. And I look at myself with contempt and loathing, questioning why God made me the way He did, as if I know better. How dare I question the Maker of heaven and earth, He who placed the stars in the sky, who causes the mountains to tremble?

Does anyone else struggle with this? How do you deal with it?

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2 thoughts on “Who Am I to Question?

  1. ugh, i totally have problems with this…i’m really ambitious with my writing, so sometimes i get these “who are you kidding?” thoughts….then, i guess like most girls, there are the body issue negative thoughts–those days where i take a half hour to pick out a shirt because i suddenly look completely wretched in Everything i own!as for dealing with it…praying and thinking on verses like you mentioned helps…and Bryan is really supportive of me, and he knows when i’m in one of my “freaking out about everything” (as he calls it) moods, and how to “talk me down” haha. its hard and miserable dealing with the “i’m not good enough” feelings, particularly when the only person imposing that on me is My Own Self…i think that what you say on here really helps…and thinking, you know, about how God’s standards are really the only standards we’ve got to meet, not even the super crazy ones that we set for ourselves..i enjoyed this post, really good thoughts..

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  2. I’m big on self-deprecating humor on my blog, which I thought was in good fun because it’s easier to be funny making fun of yourself than angering others by doing it to them. But my friends and family would always get frustrated at me doing it, I guess because they thought it showed low self-esteem. I figure I’m just trying to be funny, but I can see their point.I also have been told that it’s been much better since I married Val two years ago, so maybe they were right and I did need a boost of self-love.

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