I run 3 times a week. I completed a 5k with a
respectable fair time. I have shoes I wear just for running. I read about running, I research running, I’ve even dreamed about running.
But I don’t know if I can really call myself a runner in the “live to run” sense of the word. Here’s the thing: I kind of hate running while I’m doing it. I LOVE how I feel after a challenging run, and I love how many calories I burn from running, but during the actual process I often find myself thinking, “When will this be OVER??” Running is HARD. I still find completing 2 miles to be difficult, and I’ve only managed 3 miles a handful of times. Shouldn’t such a small distance be a piece of cake now? Others write of going on long and “easy” runs, and I don’t even know what that feels like. I don’t have “easy” runs. I have hot, sweaty, interminable runs. I would love to be able to run longer distances because I feel like I am not progressing, and I would love to do a half marathon, but I just don’t know if I am cut out for that kind of running.
Maybe I am just a wimp and need to push myself more. Maybe I just need to be in better shape and keep working on my endurance. Maybe I need to sign up for another race because the most fun I had while running was doing the 5k back in May. Maybe I need to content myself with my 2 mile runs and walking.
I love the idea of running. I love the feeling of pride and accomplishment that comes with running. I guess what it comes down to is that I feel like an impostor when I’m running, like I’m just a pretender among a group of legitimate pavement pounders.
Are there any others who feel this way about running? Am I being silly? Any advice?