Owning Up to Mistakes

The blog was kind of quiet last week, and to be honest, it is because I didn’t want to have to admit to everyone that I was not doing well with my healthy lifestyle. To recap: I ate out 4 times, I only exercised twice, and I basically was apathetic and lazy. Not my proudest moment, for sure, and so I avoided the blog. However, I know that I can’t just gloss over last week but that I need to address it, so this is me addressing it. This is me admitting that even after losing almost 75 pounds, I still don’t have this whole thing figured out. I still make really bad choices some days. I still wimp out on exercise. I still doubt that I will reach my goal. I still struggle with feeling insecure and wondering why I don’t see more real changes in my body after having lost so much weight. I still fear that I will gain all my weight back. I still lose control with food. And while individually all of these issues are not so hard to deal with, it seems that I had to battle all of them last week, and I just didn’t want to. I want to be one of those people who doesn’t have to think about every morsel of food that goes in my mouth, but does that person even exist? I don’t even know, but if such a person does exist, I am not sure I will ever be at the place where I won’t have to think about what I eat to some extent, and that is discouraging.

However, I think my tendency to dwell on the negative is what stalls my progress many times, so I don’t want to sit around and think about the person I am not; I want to do everything I can to achieve what I know is possible! I have to remember what I have accomplished by adopting this lifestyle. I have lost 74 pounds. I went from barely being able to tolerate 10 minutes on the elliptical to running a 5k, and I am running even longer distances than that. I have gone from a size 24 to a size 16. I have excellent blood sugar levels, good blood pressure, and a healthy resting heart rate. I am active (well, except for last week), and more often than not I enjoy exercise. The Erin of two years ago could not say ANY of these things! And even though I have imperfect weeks like last week, I keep trying. I will not give up. I will not go back to who I was before beginning this journey. I am going to finish what I started.

Despite the disastrous week, I miraculously maintained my weight of 187.4, and I hope that next Monday I can say goodbye to another pound. The plan is to achieve all of the goals I set for September. More than that, however, I want to look back on this week and know that I gave it my best effort, not just a halfhearted attempt. If I give it everything I have, then I how can I not succeed?

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12 thoughts on “Owning Up to Mistakes

  1. Erin – I know that you are not happy with the choices you made last week, but I love how you took the time to analyze all the great progress that you have made! That's the positive attitude that will keep you moving forward.

    As someone who has been in maintenance a long time, I can tell you that it does get easier. I don't think about every morsel I eat, but I am constantly aware of the choices I am making.

    That's not a bad thing though, because for me, it's been a key point to maintaining for this long.

    You can meet your goals for September!

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  2. You are so honest and I absolutely love you for it.
    I hope you are able to get back with it and continue on your journey.
    You obviously care about yourself and this journey otherwise you wouldn't have this blog or continue writing and show who you really are.
    Thank you for your honesty.
    Get back with it!

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  3. I KNOW what you mean! The weekend was a DISASTER for me food/exercise wise. And today's calorie intake has been terrible. Like you, I dwell on the negative so much that I think I sabotage my success. So, today I ran a torturous 2.5 miles after no running for 2 days…and it was hard. But I did it and am starting fresh from this moment forward. And then I'm just going to take it one day at a time.

    I know you'll continue to succeed! We all get off track, but you'll get right back on–you always do!
    Thanks for your transparency!

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  4. I'm a former-person-who-never-has-to-think-about-what-she-eats….but it doesn't last forever. at almost-30, if I overeat and don't eat, i gain weight. Your “only exercised twice” is still a LOT better than many people do! So you should go easy on yourself…healthy lifestyle changes for the long haul are what's important, so in the greater scheme of things one bad week is not a failure: it's just a vacation!

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  5. Ah Erin, you are human!! We make mistakes. We are going to have those times where we do fall back to the “old” ways. I know EXACTLY what you are going through πŸ™‚ You know.. you've seen my stuff.

    But we need to get back on the horse and brush ourselves off. I know being honest with yourself is the key. Let it go and don't let it stew in your brain anymore. Today is a new day (how may times have you heard that one?)

    Change your thoughts (Wayne Dyer)…. Focus on the good stuff you have already accomplished and love yourself. You will pull through this just fine. Just time to re-focus…. and besides, it's not like you didn't do something last week (you did exercise).
    That's a good thing to focus on πŸ™‚

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  6. I didnt know you 2 years ago, but something tells me that you wouldnt still be thinking about the things you did (or didnt do) last week. The Erin of 2 years ago would have just pretended that everything was perfect.

    Sometimes those kinds of weeks are good for us – they keep things in perspective.

    Here is to a better week!

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  7. I'm proud of you for owning up! That's hard to do. I think it's normal to have a bad week here and there. I do. *coughthisweekcough* I find that longer I maintain an overall healthy lifestyle, the negative weeks don't have such a distastrous effect. And I get back on the wagon quickly, and I want too go back to healthy choices. Plus, when you add it up like that, it's such an encouragement to me, and I'm sure, to you, to see what you HAVE ALREADY DONE. Like, you've already accomplished things you never thought you could! You were strong enough for that, and you are strong enough to keep going, I know! Stay the Course! ~ L

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