A Clean Slate

Has anyone else ever gone on autopilot while eating? I did tonight. I was still hungry at 8 p.m., which is my self-imposed curfew. I had already eaten blueberries and we had no other fruit in the house (sad, I know), but I really wanted to eat something, so I had a handful of tortilla chips. Then another handful. And then two cups of chocolate chip ice cream.

All while watching The Biggest Loser. Yes, I am THAT person. Jillian would eat me for breakfast.

The whole time I was eating, I knew I needed to stop, but I didn’t. It was almost as if I just turned off my brain and let my mouth take over. Now I feel sick and gross.

Why did I do it? Should I not be past these kinds of binges? Should I not be able to resist these urges to snack? Yes, but as I’ve realized, that doesn’t always mean I will make the right decisions. Gluttony is a sin I will probably battle to some extent for the rest of my life, and I need to always have my guard up and remember to take captive those wayward thoughts and make them obedient to Christ. The challenge is to move past it, not dwell on it and pout and use it as an excuse to make MORE bad decisions. Every day I have to choose to live a healthy life, to love God and not my stomach, and every day I have to accept that I am responsible for the choices I make, whether good or bad. Today was not so great, but as Anne Shirley says, “Tomorrow is a new day, with no mistakes in it.” I am going to make the most of it.

Praise God, whose mercies are new every morning.

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5 thoughts on “A Clean Slate

  1. Happy birthday!!! Also, I wanted to let you know that I think you're a really awesome and beautiful and inspiring person. I admire you very much, and your friendship has been a blessing.

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  2. Erin–do not worry. I don't think you can be “perfect” about your eating all the time. I think it's okay to indulge once in awhile or the cravings become even worse–at least that's the case for me. Give yourself grace and enjoy the tortilla chips once in awhile. I honestly don't think that makes you a glutton at all, and probably puts more stress on you to think in such terms. Grace… God is good! Big hugs!

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