The Ugly Truth

I need a good kick in the pants, so here are some facts I’m using to give that to myself:

1. I only exercised twice this past week. In week 2 of October, I only exercised three times, and in week 3, 4 times. (I exercised 6 times in week 1).

2. In March of 2009, I saw 199.6 on the scale. 7 months later, I have only lost a little over 15 pounds. That’s an average of 2.2 pounds a month.

3. I gained and lost the same 3 pounds for all of July and August and did not see a “new” low on the scale until the end of September.

4. The last time I ran 5 miles or more was in August.

5. I have been a size 16 since February.

6. I have not had a consistent strength training routine since February.

7. I have become too dependent on having a dessert after dinner. Recently, more often than not I am choosing the unhealthy food over the healthy one.

These are not good things. I am not happy when I realize how much I’m not committing to this healthy lifestyle. I am not happy when I realize how I am squandering the life God has blessed me with. But I don’t want to just moan and cry about it, I want to change. As Stephen just reminded me, there are still 2 months left in this year, and while I can’t change the past, I can live in the present and make it worth living.

Tomorrow I am going to make an appointment with a personal trainer. This scares me beyond belief, probably because I am afraid of being told how out of shape and weak I am and because I don’t like trying new things. But I need to do something to shake things up, and I need some guidance in the strength training department, so perhaps this will help.

So there you have it. I’m a mess. But I’m trusting that God can still make something beautiful out of it.

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6 thoughts on “The Ugly Truth

  1. good luck with the personal trainer! I understand the frustration. I can't seem to stay motivated and have also become used to having dessert after dinner (kinda hard not to when i keep baking!)

    i still think you're inspiring!

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  2. ooohhh – a personal trainer! I love the fact that you are looking outside of what you are comfortable with and pushing yourself. That is where you will find results Erin, when you push yourself. The last 7 months have been good in the sense that you have not gained weight, you have lost 15lbs. If you are not happy with it, it is YOU who will need to change things. You can do this – I believe in you!

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  3. Oh Erin, you can do this. You are so strong and I know you will kick butt with the trainer. Even once a week would be great and then you can duplicate the workout later in the week! I have faith in you!!! Good luck.

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  4. I don't think you should feel bad about losing “just” 15 pounds! Your underlying goal is not just what the scale says but a healthy lifestyle that's maintainable, so I think you should give yourself a pat on the back instead of a kick in the pants!

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