Mirror, Mirror

Jen, whose blog I love and read every day, asked me some great questions about my weight loss. Initially I was going to just answer one, but they are all kind of connected and are important, so I am going to answer all three of them in separate posts (since my attempt to write concise answers to each one failed miserably).

Today’s question:

“How have you dealt with the emotional effects of losing weight? Do you see yourself at the weight you really are?”

Emotions (and my inability to handle them properly) played a huge role in why I became fat, and they continue to play a huge role in how/why I lose weight. I think that part of the reason my weight loss has become stagnant is because I haven’t really gotten to the heart of all the reasons I gained weight in the first place, so they are still there below the surface. I struggle with being afraid of getting to my goal weight because then what happens if I gain it all back? I also don’t know how to handle compliments well, though I have gotten better. It both flatters me and bothers me a bit when people say, “You look beautiful! I didn’t even recognize you” because then I think, “Was I so ugly before?”

I do have a hard time knowing what I “really” look like now; sometimes I will catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and be surprised by what I see. I can’t get an accurate image of myself in my head, if that makes sense. Oddly enough, I had this problem when I was obese. I often told myself I wasn’t that big, and it was only until I would see pictures that I realized how fat I was. I don’t know how I can look in a mirror and not see what’s really there, but I do it all the time. I still imagine myself to be very large, and every now and I then I will realize anew that I am not so large anymore. I’m not skinny by any means, but I have lost a significant amount of weight and am not the same person I was when I started this weight loss journey. I am working on loving my body and appreciating all it allows me to do.

What about you? Do you see yourself in an accurate light?

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8 thoughts on “Mirror, Mirror

  1. I think we all struggle with seeing ourselves as better or worse than what we actually are – probably no one has a really accurate body image.

    For me, my complexion is everything. Which I've said before, I think. If I have a bad breakout, I have a feeling people are just going to think, “oh my gosh, does she not have concealer?” when, in actuality, I have spent the past hour only semi-successfully covering it up. I think, with face/body issues, it's harder sometimes to deal with other people because that's the side of you they see. With inner issues, you can always cover them up – but if you're overweight or have bad skin, it's right there for everyone to see.

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  2. Ummmm…did I write this? I would answer you question at the end of the post but you already answered it for me. LOL.

    I was looking for pictures for yesterday's post and I ran across a picture of myself and I was flabbergasted. At the time the picture was taken I really thought I was the bomb! Not so much! I knew I was overwieght, but I didn't thik I looked bad. Now that I see old pictures I just can't believe I let things get out of hand.

    My weight gain resulted from the inability to handle emotions. Sadly enough, I remember on Fridays I would send my kids to their grandmother and have what I would call a “P Party” A P party consisted of eating foods that started with the letter P: pizza, pie, potato chips, etc. That makes me sad to think about that. I am so thankful that I am not that girl anymore. Don't get me wrong, I still struggle.

    Now that I have lost weight I have a hard time seeing myself at my new weight. It's not until I see a photo or I compare old photos that I say WOW, I am really losing weight this time. I am a work in progress and that's something I need to work on.

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  3. My view of myself is way off. I know that, and try really hard not to focus on it. Its funny that I go either way as well, I'll see a pic and think, wow, how can i be that big? And then see myself and think, oh yeah I'm ok. My goal is to remember I'm here for the Lord's purpose and not to turn anyone's head. I'm so much happier when I can get in that right frame of mind, but its hard!

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  4. i think i hardly ever see myself accurately, and it varies depending on my mood. on really good days (or when i visit home and my mom keeps telling me how skinny i am), i'll think i look way better than i do, on bad days (one of those frizzed hair, broken out, ate a bunch of junk the day before days), i feel like apologizing to my hubby for being such a fright.

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  5. I think I'm seeing myself as getting thinner in the mirror and start to feel good about myself. Then I take a picture and get a whole different view. Camera's are not my friend.

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  6. You know what I find humorous (in a non-funny kinda way)? I am just as messed up now (when I look in the mirror) as I was when I was overweight. I saw a picture of myself just this morning of a volunteer event I did on Friday. I stared at the picture for about 12 minutes (seriously), opening the email & shutting it. Opening it looking and shutting it because I was in such disbelief that it was me.

    To me, it is so sad that I changed my entire life for something that I wanted so much and yet now I can't even see it.

    Eh, time. I guess it will just take time.

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