Just Out of Reach

Yesterday I answered Jen’s questions about emotions and weight loss, and I enjoyed your responses to that post. After reading them, I wonder if struggling with body image is primarily a female issue. Are there any males out there willing to weigh in (no pun intended) on the question?

Today here is my response to Jen’s second question: “Are you at your goal weight? What was your goal when you first started versus where you are now?

The answer is no, I am not at my goal weight. When I first started this process on January 21, 2008, I weighed 261 pounds and hoped to lose 100 pounds in a year. For some people that goal is very doable, but it ended up not being realistic for me. I managed to lose 50 pounds in the first year and then felt certain I would reach my goal in 2009. That too did not happen, and I find myself nearing the end of the year having lost under 30 pounds. Unless something approaching the miraculous happens before January 21, 2010, I will reach the two-year anniversary of my weight loss without reaching my goal of losing 100 pounds. I have a hard time with this because I have read so many weight loss stories where people took less time to lose the weight that I have and in fact lost even MORE than I have in less time. This is very disappointing to me, but I know the fault lies with no one but myself.

I have struggled with whether or not I still want to get to 161 pounds, but if I am honest with myself, I think that’s because I am tired of trying to lose weight and deep down don’t even believe I can get to my goal. I have been stuck in the 180s for the latter half of the year, and I am still trying to figure out what exactly isn’t clicking. I am thankful I haven’t gained back all the weight I’ve lost, and I am slowly but surely moving in the right direction, but I feel like that final goal is always just out of reach. I’m open to any advice or wisdom anyone would like to share!

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8 thoughts on “Just Out of Reach

  1. Wow Erin, I think you were reading my mind today. I too have been stuck in the 180's for the last 6 months and have not even come close to my goal this year. But like you, there are small changes and I guess I need to be happy with that.

    I have no recommendations for you, so I am hoping someone else can pass on some advice and we both can learn.

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  2. Heather told me about this post and said since I'm a guy I should comment.

    I can't really speak for every guy, but I think my motivation in weight loss is more geared toward feeling good than looking good, if that makes any sense. If I start feeling sluggish or too easily exhausted by simple tasks, that makes me want to loose weight. I know a lot of guys do struggle with body image, but I think it's for different reasons than girls typically do.

    Unless a guy is excessively overweight, his focus is normally on how he feels and his ability to function properly in the world.

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  3. very honest post today Erin – thank you for sharing! Let me do add one thing though, even once you get to your “goal” weight, you will still struggle. I promise.

    I don't say that in a negative way although it does feel that way but actually, I say it in a suprising way. Just like you won't feel a year older just because its your birthday, you won't feel like your at your goal weight just because you wake up and lose a pound over night. Its so much more of a mental thing – true, I asked the question but I would have been surprised if you actually had answered differently. Ah, we are so alike 🙂

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  4. Try not to compare your journey to others, everyone is soo different. You have done such a great job and are such an inspiration to me and everyone else that reads this. You will get to your goal of 100 pounds lost whether it takes another couple months or a year or however long it takes. If it's something you want to achieve, you will. Look at how far you've come, amazing!

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  5. Everyones journey is different. I don't have any idea what my goal weight is. I wanted to be in the healthy range for my height, but now at 165 I feel like I could still be in much better shape so I imagine the weight loss will follow with my new fitness goals. I stopped giving myself weight loss goals and am instead only looking at fitness ones.

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  6. I agree with Jen, sadly no matter what weight you are…whether it's your goal weight, lower than your goal weight, or somewhere in between it will always be something that is on your mind unless it becomes more than the weight itself. And honestly I don't think that is something you grasp and then it stays there…its an everyday decision…one that I struggle with constantly. Within a day or two you can go up or down a few pounds and if you are dependent on a number that will mentally determine how you feel about yourself. For me it's the little things…finding ways that I can improve my health that will not only effect me physically but also mentally. Whether it is trying out a new cookbook that uses all fresh produce…or going vegetarian for a week…or signing up for a new class that is out of your comfort zone…like karate:)but mostly I just love learning why my body does what it does…as you know knowledge truly is power…so I read a lot of articles and books(Dr. Oz:)) about my body and how it works…I think it not only helps me stay healthy but it also helps me appreciate my body…which I think is the root of the problem…we don't appreciate it by not taking care of it…and then when we are trying to we think it moves to slow…our bodies can't win!:)

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  7. My goal for the year was to lose a pound a week, 52 pounds in 52 weeks. For the past three months I have been losing an average of about 1.5 pounds a week, but the first half year was a huge learning curve. I feel that only now, 11 months into this, do I have the skills to reach my original goal. And I feel that having those skills are much more valuable than reaching my goal weight for the year. Those skills will bring me much farther in life than being 15 pounds from my goal weight.

    I'm really happy to be on this journey, and knowing I have control today and tomorrow to look the way I want to be. It's a journey, it's not a destination, and we're both on the train.

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