I have a confession: I have not been running. After the 5k I did in the beginning of October, I started running for shorter amounts of time, and then in November I started doing some speed work. I quickly injured myself and then had a hard time wanting to get back into running. I hardly ran at all after that, and it started getting colder so I began going to the gym more. While doing interval workouts on the treadmill at the gym, I would run, but only for 2-3 minutes at a time, or 5 at the absolute most because I utterly hate running on the treadmill. Then I started to feel like maybe I would just give up running altogether. After all, I liked walking, so why not just stick with that? However, walking doesn’t burn as many calories, and I was already walking at 4.3 mph on the treadmill, so how much faster could I really go before it turned into a jog? I had to be honest with myself and admit that running was hard and walking was easy, and let’s face it, I like easy.
But the easy choices are what made me fat. It was easier to eat fast food all the time and sit on the couch and watch TV all day. It was easier not to exercise. It was easier not to put thought into what I would eat. It was easier to give into every food craving I had. It was easier not to worry about calories or nutritional value. Easy, easy, easy.
However, the supreme irony of all of these easy choices is that they just made life harder. It was harder to get excited about shopping because I knew I would only have a teeny tiny area in the store from which to choose my clothes. It was harder to hang out with other people because I always felt like the biggest girl in the room. It was harder to feel good about myself because I hated how I looked. It was harder to walk up a flight of stairs or walk around the mall.
So even though running is hard, and even though losing weight is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, I’ve decided I’ll take hard over easy any day of the week.
This morning I ran for 20 minutes straight and walked for another 25, and I felt really good. I’m going to try and do 2 more 20-minute runs this week, and then I’ll bump it up to 25 next week, and 30 the week after that, until I am back to the running shape I was in during the month of August, when I ran my longest distance of 6 miles. I really would like to run a 10k and maybe even a half marathon in 2010, and that won’t happen if I don’t run (duh, right?). So here I go! It will be hard, but I have a feeling it will be worth it.
*The title of this post brought to you by The Fray’s song “All At Once.”