One thing that I did not anticipate about pregnancy is the wild, crazy dreams I would have. I have had a lot of very vivid dreams. From what I’ve read/heard from others, those dreams can sometimes be nightmares. So far, none of them have been too bad, save for one.
In that dream, I hopped on the scale for my weekly weigh-in, and to my dismay I had gained FOURTEEN POUNDS! I was horrified and immediately started crying, trying to figure out how I had lost control so quickly. It was awful, and the dream stayed with me after I woke up. I even went and weighed myself just to make sure I hadn’t in fact gained that much weight (I hadn’t).
This dream, while perhaps not a nightmare to some, was rather nightmarish to me, and it preys upon one of my biggest fears about pregnancy: gaining weight. I know gaining weight is a natural, necessary, and expected part of pregnancy, but I am still very nervous. I worked really hard the past 2 1/2 years and lost over 90 pounds, and it’s going to be hard to see the scale going up. Granted, the reason for the higher number on the scale makes it more than worth it, but I am afraid of gaining more than I need to.
The week I found out I was pregnant, I weighed 170.2 pounds, so I am considering that my starting weight. I actually lost a bit the week after that and was at 168.8, but that did not last long. I’ve been fluctuating between 169 and 170.something ever since. I suppose that’s not too bad, and I haven’t gained an insane amount of weight, but I’m only a little under 9 weeks into my pregnancy! I have a long way to go, and I just hope that I can keep the weight gain at a healthy, manageable rate.
So what’s my goal? To gain 25-30 pounds. That’s a very healthy weight gain, and I could even stand to gain less than that because I am still overweight, but I think 25-30 is realistic for me. I know it’s possible; I just hope it’s possible for ME. I am hungry ALL.THE.TIME. right now, so it’s been a struggle not to use that added hunger as an excuse to indulge. I have to remember that the food I’m eating is fueling my growing baby, and that is more important than satisfying my desire for ice cream 3 times a day.
I also need to remember that I only need an additional 300 calories every day, and that’s not a lot when it comes down to it. Where I’m having trouble is figuring out what my caloric intake should be. When I was still actively trying to lose weight, I would eat between 1500-1700 calories a day. So does that mean that now I should eat 1800-2000? Or should I eat more than that because I’m not trying to lose weight and therefore am simply trying to maintain my weight? (I don’t even know if that makes sense now that I’ve written it out!) Basically, I really don’t know, and I guess ultimately the number doesn’t matter as much as my attitude toward food and the choices I make about what I eat. I don’t want to be so obsessed with this that I miss out on the joy of pregnancy, so I’m going to have to find some balance.
I’d love any advice/suggestions any of you have to share!
P.S. I’ve decided to keep my blog here for now, if for no other reason than the fact that all the cute URLs I thought of are already taken. 🙂