Thanks to the office being closed this Friday, I am almost finished with my first week back at work, and I couldn’t be more relieved! Monday was really hard. I was emotionally on edge all day, and when I got back from lunch after being at home and seeing Charlotte, I cried. I thought about her all day long and just missed her SO much. Fortunately, Tuesday was a bit better, and then today was better still, but I still think about my sweet baby girl all the time. Of course, let’s face it: it would be weird if I WEREN’T thinking about her all the time, right?? I am still super anxious about her starting daycare next week, but I keep reminding myself that it is not the end of the world and that I need to put Charlotte completely in God’s hands instead of thinking that I am in control. He is completely sovereign, and I know He loves Charlotte far more than I can even imagine, so why should I worry? For now, I have to focus on taking it one day at a time.
I am sad to report that this week the scale informed that I have gained three pounds. I honestly do not feel as though I could have eaten enough extra calories last week to warrant such a gain, especially because when I was at home with Charlotte I didn’t exactly have time to sit around and eat all day. I was lucky when I was able to get in 3 square meals. Maybe that was part of the problem, who knows? Still, seeing that gain completely threw me for a loop and has left me feeling a bit like I will never lose the rest of this weight. I know it hasn’t even been 8 weeks since I had Charlotte, but I really thought I would have lost more weight by now. But if I am 100% honest with myself, it’s not as though I have really put in the effort it takes to have lost more weight by this point. I can’t keep eating junk and expect the pounds to melt away just because I am exercising 30 minutes here and there. That just doesn’t make weight loss sense!
Speaking of exercising 30 minutes here and there, last night I completely Week 1 Day 1 of Couch to 5k! It was definitely challenging, and as I was struggling through each 60 second jog, I kept thinking, “Was I really able to walk/run 11 miles at one point?!” I am so out of shape right now that it’s hard to believe I did that, but I did, and that means it is still possible! I don’t even know if I want to aim for running 11 miles; at this point I’d be thrilled to run 3! I am just going to take it one workout at a time and do my best to make Couch to 5k a success for the second time around, and then I will see what other running-related goals I may want to set for the rest of the year.
Ultimately, my life these days is all about taking things one day at a time. If I try and think beyond that, I’ll drive myself insane. I cling to the words in Matthew 6:34: “Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”