I weighed myself this morning, and it wasn’t pretty. The number on the scale said 204.2. I haven’t weighed over 200 pounds since I was pregnant with Charlotte over 3 years ago. I had a few thoughts after seeing this number:
Thought 1: “I can’t believe this. I feel disgusting.
Thought 2: “I have to change this.”
This is not new territory for me. My weight has been on a steady increase for the past year. In the back of my mind, however, I thought that things would turn around. I thought these extra pounds were just some sort of wacky fluke, as if by thinking that I could absolve myself of all responsibility. But the fault is all mine. I made the choices that led to weight gain. I chose to eat unhealthy foods. I chose to feel sorry for myself and wallow in self-pity. I chose to ignore the warning signs and kept heading down a path I knew would only lead to seeing 200 pounds on the scale again.
But I’m through with all of that. No more feeling sorry for myself. No more making excuses. No more eating junk and hoping it won’t negatively effect me. I have treated myself poorly and set a bad example for my daughter long enough.
I am hitting the reset button. I am going back to the basics. Here’s the plan:
- I am counting my calories on SparkPeople.
- I am limiting sweets to fewer than 200 calories a day.
- I am not going to keep any soda (diet or regular) in the house.
- I will not eat out of boredom or after 8:00 p.m.
- I will exercise at least 3 times a week.
These things work. I know because they worked for me before. Despite the fact that I have this little voice in my head that says that I will never get back into the 160s again, that I am just destined to be a fat girl, I have to believe that I can do this. I have my own past experience to prove it.
I can do this. I can do this. I WILL do this.