It’s hard to believe it’s been almost six weeks since I had my hip surgery. The time has gone by really quickly since I went back to work and started physical therapy. I’ve been going to therapy 2-3 times a week, which has been tough. My sessions have lasted at least an hour, and even though the exercises seem really basic, I’m worn out afterwards. It doesn’t help that I head right to work after I’m finished. Everything seems to be harder since my surgery, which I guess is to be expected as I continue to heal.
At this point, I’m still on one crutch. I really thought I would be done with the crutches altogether at this point, but it hasn’t worked out that way. Last week when I tried walking without them at PT, I felt a sharp pain, and I felt it again over the weekend, so I have tried to do what my physical therapist said and take it easy. I was able to walk a little bit better at my session on Monday and hope to have similar success on Wednesday. I have been frustrated at how slow the process of weaning myself off the crutches has been, but I know it’s better to do it slowly and without injury than rush things and end up doing more damage.
I have been surprised by how much I have had to fight fear and anxiety related to my recovery. I had no idea what a mental struggle recovery would entail. I have been so nervous that the surgery won’t work to relieve my pain and worried that every twinge I feel means something is wrong. It’s easy for me to get worked up and think of all of the worst-case scenarios that can happen, so I find myself having to stop on a daily basis and remember that 1) worrying doesn’t solve anything, 2) I have no real reason to think anything is wrong, and 3) no matter what happens, God will meet me there. If my hope is based on my physical condition, I will always be disappointed. So I must hope in the Lord instead. On Sunday I was reminded of the beauty found in Micah 7:7, which says, “But as for me, I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me.” This verse encouraged me and reminded me that God alone is my hope and my help. Even if my hips always hurt, He will be faithful. And that will be enough.